We got married when we were madly in love with each other. The first three years of marriage were magical. We would to listen to rock music, go on long drives and just became so used to each other that there cam a point where it was tough to live apart even for a day. The daily routine kept us going. Slowly, it got to a point where we started enjoying the freedom to live without any responsibilities. Until one day, we found out that I was pregnant.
I always wanted kids but thought them more of a responsibility and a societal norm and never really believed in having kids of my own. Since a very young age, I always wanted to adopt. Always felt that love is love, how does it matter if you love your own child or some one else’s. What difference does it make?
Sam was elated, when we found out that it’s going to be a girl. Whereas, I was worried, How am I going to manage everything?
One day when Sam came back home from work. I told him my concerns.
“Sam, I am scared. I always thought I will adopt. I really want to adopt. I don’t want to stick to the societal rules. I care about the kids who have no families. Why did this happen to me?”
Sam knew from the time we got married that I wanted to adopt.
“Listen Rumi, this was not planned and we can’t do anything about it now. How about we go and file for adoption? Now that we are going to have a kid. Why not get a brother or sister for her at the same time?”
I was a little confused. I thought he was joking.
“You mean now when we are having a kid? You want to go through the whole process of adoption, now?”
“Ya, if not now then when? If you have made up your mind then let’s go for it. Let’s file for it. It’s a long process. We never know when will we get matched. This way you will feel good about something you have always felt passionate about and also we already know that we want two kids.”
I didn’t know how to react to this. Initially I thought this idea was absurd but then I thought like Sam said “If not now then when”
“Let’s do it. Let’s go to the adoption center this week itself. I know this friend of mine who filed for adoption through a government organization. I will get the address from her. Let’s work on it.”
Sam replied “Great. You be ready and tell me a day, I will come home by lunch and pick you up and we can go.”
And just like that we had Vicky and Anna. Vicky was 3 when we adopted him. Anna had turned 1. Vicky was such a caring brother. I still remember the first day when he came home with us. It was different for him. He had always lived in the adoption center surrounded by his friends. He was quiet for a couple of days. But he opened up. Sam was a great father. He made sure he took care of both of them the same way. We had this discussion many a times about the right time to tel him that he was adopted. Sam used to say, let him turn 10 and we will tell him. He will be able to understand the meaning of adoption well by then. I always feared telling him this and would always tell Sam that, you have to break it to him, I won’t be able to do it.
Vicky will turn 10 in a few months and Sam is not here. I don’t know how I will tell him. But Vicky has also grown up suddenly in the past year, since the passing of Sam. He is more responsible. The other day he came and asked me the sweetest thing. He said.
“Mom, Anna is my sister and she is my only responsibility from now. You don’t worry about her future. I will grow up to become a big man and will take care of her forever.”
I hugged him tightly and said ” Vicky, You are just 2 years older to her. I am there to take care of you both but it was nice of you to say this. I love you both so much. Just stay this way forever and keep loving each other no matter what”
I know that I may not be ready to tell him about his adoption story but he is ready to understand it and that’s what I am going to do. I am going to tell him the truth and I know, just like Sam, he will embrace it with love.
Sam would have been a really proud father.